Whish I didn’t hafta take lomotil
Take lomotil again today but I
But I’ll take it again today
‘Cause I don’t like having runny
I don’t like having runny poo
Having only my small intestine left
Part of my small intestine left
Is the reason I take lomotil
Four times daily I take lomotil
I take lomotil
Wanna pray that You’ll
Make me more fully
Me on the inside
And the outside too
Wanna praise You and
All of me give
Give even though it’ll
Be a broken hallelujah
But I feel lots
And often find it’s
Hard to manifest a
Comfortable to me me
Lack of authenticity I
Find that it’s the
Barrier that frequently makes
Connecting with You hard
Connecting with You’s hard
Thought you’d significantly moved the metrestick on many of the things that cause you gender dysphoria
But when it appears some of them have reintensified you get more than a little discouraged
You start panicking a wee bit inside that once again you’ll have a really hard life
It could be your body absorbing less well your estrogen medication causing some reversed body changes
It could be your Crohn’s disease making you loss the precious fat your body had redistributed
But at no time dose this indicate that maybe your not ment to mature into womanhood
And you’ve always deeply known on some level that your ment to be maturing into womanhood
And maybe your already liveing though one of the many infanite manifestations of what womanhood is
And like you’ve written many times before you know you’ll carry on into another new day
Tryna keep my food down so I just
Had a 2 cup glass mug full of
Spring water with 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
The 5 percent acidic organic with mother kind
And now I’m in my bathroom on the toilet
For the umpteenth time emptying my ostomy bag
Emptying my ostomy bag while listening to
Skillet’s One Real Thing streaming off my smartphone
And yes I believe God’s the real thing
Yes God you’re the one real thing
So I’m asking you for some guidance now
On how to live a life that’s more
More than just getting to a new day
I keep getting myself to a new day
Autistic neurotyped people have both wonderful abilities and great challenges
Sadly the world’s not structured for those challenges and abilities
Making the ways that’re compatible with the world highly valued
And many hellbent on training people to use them well
And many hellbent on training autistics to use them well
And no one should be made ashamed of their neurotype
And autistics should never be made ashamed of their neurotype
And it’s always so empowering to’ve pride in your neurotype
Always so empowering for autistics to’ve pride in their neurotype
And having pride in your neurotype can give you assertiveness
And make you advocate for your needs and your strengths
And autistics with pride in their neurotype have gotten assertive
Which makes them greater advocates for their needs and strengths
Everyone including autistics should learn to’ve pride in their neurotype
Autistics should get to learn to’ve pride in their neurotype
Autistics should have pride in their neurotype
Despite all the traumatic
The traumatic times
And the good times
That should’ve been
Should’ve been way better
I’ve been trying
Been trying my best
To put something
To put something onto
My outside that
Represents who I’m at
My inner core
I think soon enough
I’ll have on
My outside something as
Close to that
As close to that as
I can have
Lucky me, lucky you
Here I’m now
Lucky me, lucky you
Here I’m now
Been trying my best
To put something
To put something onto
My outside that
Represents who I’m at
My inner core
I think soon enough
I’ll have on
My outside something as
Close to that
As close to that as
I can have
Lucky me, lucky you
Here I’m now
Lucky me, lucky you
Here I’m now
I spend a significant amount of time on the toilet
In my apartment’s full bathroom I listen via smartphone to
Lots of streaming music and videos and sometimes I pray
Wile for the umpteenth time emptying out my ostomy bag
I spend a significant amount of time on the toilet
In my apartment’s full bathroom I two times a week
Change my estrogen patches and sometimes I pray
After the umpteenth time of emptying out my ostomy bag
I spend a significant amount of time on the toilet
In my apartment’s full bathroom I post on and read
Via smartphone on social media sites and when needed I’ll
Go through the steps needed to change my ostomy bag
I spend a significant amount of time on the toilet
In my apartment’s full bathroom I deal with a lot
Dysphoria, my ileostomy, talking with God and
When don I clean me and the toilet and leave
Been tryna negate effects
Of IBD and dysphoria
Gender and body dysphoria
That didn’t kill me
Been put back together
To help give me
Function I can handle
It’s taken several attempts
It didn’t fix me
Just put me in
A more manageable configuration
A more manageable configuration
It didn’t fix me
Just put me in
A more manageable configuration
A more manageable configuration
I have an ileostomy
It has a stoma
The stoma got telescoped
Telescoped for many months
Then it miraculously detelescoped
Did not stay detelescoped
Stay detelescoped for long
It then started retelescoping
It eventually fully retelescoped
This is really frustrating
Hopefully it detelescopes again
And stays detelescoped forever
Don’t leave me hanging
Don’t leave me hanging
Don’t leave me hanging
You leave me hanging
You leave me hanging
By a thread wile
I’m stuck, stuck waiting
I’m stuck, stuck waiting
Major discomfort it’s unpleasant
And very life limiting
Discomfort it’s life limiting
Especially if stuck waiting
You leave me hanging
By a thread wile
I’m stuck, stuck waiting
I’m stuck, stuck waiting
I’ve got an ileostomy
One that’s functionally blocked
It’s got a stoma
A stoma that’s telescoped
Major discomfort it’s unpleasant
And very life limiting
Discomfort it’s life limiting
Especially if stuck waiting
You leave me hanging
By a thread wile
I’m stuck, stuck waiting
I’m stuck, stuck waiting
And wile I’m waiting
Time it’s passing by and
Soon it’ll eclipse my
Approval for beast augmentation
You leave me hanging
By a thread wile
I’m stuck, stuck waiting
I’m stuck, stuck waiting
Don’t leave me hanging
Don’t leave me hanging
Don’t leave me hanging
You’re leaving me hanging
Lyricsofmylife 